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Negotiating comes naturally to us as we do it every day. Just think about it: we do not only negotiate good jobs, higher salaries and low interest rates for our loans, we negotiate schedules for gym practices, car pools, dry cleaning pick-ups and dates with friends. Yes, on some subtle, mundane level, negotiating is integrated into our lives.

Now, let’s take a look at the wider picture. In business, there are larger and more important things than getting a discount on the goods in your favorite shop.  Good negotiating skills are the asset you want to have when you are in need to solve issues, conflicts and disagreements, close great deals and take things to your advantage.

To some people, negotiating comes naturally, while for others it can be a setback. If you fall in to the latter category and your job requires this key skill, do not despair. Give yourself time to master it, and if not on your own, there is always a course to take up.

If you decide to adopt the needed technique on your own, here are some tips to get you started:

Start with a higher “price”.

Never start negotiation from a minimum that would satisfy you. People are naturally inclined to bargain; therefore they will try to "tear down" that minimum and make it even lower. Ask for more than you think you can get, work for it as it was your final goal, and the human nature will get you to the target you originally set.

Take advantage of the first minutes as they are crucial.

According to the research published by the American Psychological Association, first 5 minutes in the negotiation are the key to success. As it was concluded, the greatest strength lies in the first impression - this must be the time to act. Our brain uses the first few minutes of the encounter to assess the situation, to decide whether we trust the interlocutor and evaluate their intentions. This is why we never start talking business directly at the very beginning of the meeting but we leave this for later.

Small lies are allowed.

Of course, this does not mean you should deceive and mislead your clients and partners. On the contrary, it means you are allowed to create a better standing during the negotiation. The most common lie, the type of lie we're talking about, is trying to assure the other party that you have another great offer waiting for you after the meeting or that you can give them everything they want (but you actually don’t and you will probably successfully improvise along the way). You have to be very careful because hiding the truth or exaggerating is risky; more than losing the deal is at stake (your reputation for one thing).

Body language can be more powerful than words.

Body language can do more than just give away our nervousness. If you cannot control your body language and do not know it well, you can end up revealing your intentions.

Here are some things to brush up on:

• Making eye contact = confidence
• Too much gesticulation, loudness and knitted fingers = nervousness.
• Head down, taking a pencil from one hand to another or drawing and writing something unrelated with discussion = disinterestedness.

Remove and exclude all the “personal” from the negotiations.

Negotiating is business and successful business managing gives no room to emotions. Do not let yourself give in to feelings and do not be affected by what your client/partner/opponent says or does.  The cases where emotions prevail make us lose control of ourselves and the matter - therefore control of negotiations.  In case you cannot “turn off” the emotions, you should learn how to hide them.

Be confident but know when to loosen up.

Confidence is a weapon that you must always keep loaded and ready. On the other hand, you have to know when to put it into the scabbard. You have to know when to give up the attack and allow the other side to win a part of the territory. Sometimes this is the only way to get to the finish line. Try being one step ahead, and drop out unless it can benefit you in the future.  

Mind the arguments and use them wisely.

Never enter into negotiations unprepared. Improvisation is good, but it functions the best at the “fight or flight times”.  Being professional is being prepared and having a solid ground to stand on. It is always good to have arguments for showing the client where and how their business benefits from your services instead of “defending” your brand.

Be a good listener.

Some see negotiation as a form of outsmarting or verbal battling, but the truth is that it is kind of fight where you have to be a better listener. Listening will show and reveal not just what they want from you, but what they need – and knowing someone’s needs gives you leverage over them.

Learn everything you can about your “opponent”.

Homework you must do before the start of the negotiations is finding the relevant information related to your business date. Unquestionably, this does not apply to the birthday of their relatives but the things relevant to the subject of the possible deal.  Find and turn their business flaws or weakness to your favor – show them what they didn’t know and “save” the day.

Don’t let them smell fear.

In every business, there comes a time when things do not go as planned. At times like this, you need to explain yourself and justify actions you took. Sometimes, it will be necessary to admit the mistake, and regardless of what actually happens – you need to keep your cool. Whatever you do, it is important to appear down to earth, prepared and confident, friendly, polite and businesslike always ready to compromise.
The recipe for success is easy (and it can be applied in any industry and business branch): it comes when both parties are happy. The tool and asset which will get you to that success – alright, some of the tools – are good negotiating skills.